How many is too many?


My wife and I currently have 2 beautiful daughters (O is 2 years old and A is 3 months).  Many of our friends are pregnant with or are just having their second child and it seems that most people we know are happy with 2 children.  We on the other hand want more!

The problem that we currently have is the decision, how many children is too many?Ophelia & Artemis-365

For a long time we had said that 3 seemed like a sensible number for us but now that we’ve got 2 we can’t help but consider 4… or more!

We have been given so much pleasure from our girls it seems silly to deny ourselves of the pleasure that more would allow to have as a family.  Obviously we are very aware of financial implications, space at home, in the car etc.  But the lure of more is very much there.

There are lots of things that work against the thought of more children, less holidays, less time for me and my wife, spreading our time amongst our children etc.  But the thought of having lots of kids at home is such an exciting one!

My wife and I are both primary school teachers so are used to having a LOT of children around us, maybe that’s why we’re not too phased by the thought of lots of kids.

We will continue looking at our pay checks, looking for larger cars, bigger houses in our price range and continue discussions but this is far from an easy decision for us.

My wife always says “You may regret the children you don’t have, but you’ll never regret the ones that you do.”  I don’t know where it’s from or if she made it up!  But it sounds true to me.


5 thoughts on “How many is too many?

  1. Yep, I agree with that quote. I said the same thing to my hubby. Who do you see sat around the dinner table with you in 20 years? We both wanted three but it was a big decision. I’m broody now for another one now though!


  2. I have two children at the moment and my boyfriend and I are planning on having a third. I posted something online about it before and the backlash of comments were disgusting. People would suggest ” you don’t need any more children” or “you have enough already” but who are they to decide the life for you? I think three is perfect. 4 is good. 5 may possibly be too much of a financial burden with today’s economy. That’s just my opinion though. There are many factors to reflect on when having children. Whether it’s one or ten. The choice is yours. As long as you feel you can provide for them and give them all your love and guidance then you can have as many as you wish.


  3. I have two children and I definitely don’t feel ‘done’ yet. That said, I’m the youngest of nine and have a lot of nieces and nephews so have been used to having lots of children around all my life. I think it should be a personal decision – am sure you will know when you feel your family is complete. Love your wife’s quote – will have to remember that one!


  4. As with lots of decisions in life there is no right answer and as you said it’s going to be a personal choice influenced by your experience of what the ‘right’ size family is, what you can afford in terms of house etc
    I was a one and my wife one of three. Her brother has just had his third and sister just having second. We have one boy. We started late so I don’t know if there will be more. What’s weird is how this subject gets some people so steamed up! And how there is an assumption you will have more than one. That can put a lot of unnecessary pressure on you just as much as the pressure to conform to whatever the current idea of the right size family is!


    • It’s an ongoing discussion that won’t be resolved for many years in sure. It is definitely odd how fired up some people get about this subject and that they think their opinion should effect our decision as a family.


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